I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
