I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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