I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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