yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
