i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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