I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
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I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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