I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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