I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
