I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
