Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
