Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
