'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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