Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
