i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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