is your mom at the bar?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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