Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
