I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
