a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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