I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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