Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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