Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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