Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
