dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
