i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize