Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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