You really coming over, don't trick.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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