I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
