I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
