Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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