Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"

(312): View more from Illinois

Prob not but she was surprised

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(773): When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate" (312): Prob not but she was surprised http://tfl.nu/a9jx

Replies (2) Good night (1829) Bad night (751)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!

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(603): thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful! http://tfl.nu/mwds

Replies (60) Good night (3503) Bad night (7924)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.

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(605): I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done. http://tfl.nu/lxsz

Replies (23) Good night (1207) Bad night (4729)
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(937): View more from Ohio

i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered

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(937): i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered http://tfl.nu/r084

Replies (23) Good night (3915) Bad night (874)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.

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(703): Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/fx2a

Replies (4) Good night (2997) Bad night (1955)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.

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(504): We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that. http://tfl.nu/afy4

Replies (15) Good night (3460) Bad night (1510)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.

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(770): I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out. http://tfl.nu/bqmt

Replies (8) Good night (2139) Bad night (1510)
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(801): View more from Utah

Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking

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(801): Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking http://tfl.nu/5hl3

Replies (11) Good night (4045) Bad night (1010)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.

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(808): Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower. http://tfl.nu/ajbm

Replies (12) Good night (2264) Bad night (765)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.

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(651): My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex. http://tfl.nu/dfh2

Replies (14) Good night (1716) Bad night (572)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.

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(780): I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started. http://tfl.nu/6whx

Replies (0) Good night (804) Bad night (355)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.

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(804): I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together. http://tfl.nu/pd1t

Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (405)
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(510): View more from California

i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was

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(510): i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was http://tfl.nu/ppih

Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (420)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.

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(404): I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten. http://tfl.nu/1ps7

Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (286)
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(904): View more from Florida

UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY

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(904): UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY http://tfl.nu/1tru

Replies (4) Good night (562) Bad night (402)

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