Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
