Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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(310): View more from California

I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.

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(315): View more from New York

The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months

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(716): View more from New York

Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.

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(914): View more from New York

this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.

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(555): View more from

After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.

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(281): View more from Texas

I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep

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(315): View more from New York

I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?

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