you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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