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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.

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• (310): View more from California

  Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Gong!

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  So what are you going to be for halloween?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered

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