It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
