oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does