Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Cause it just destroys penises

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore

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  (586): Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex? (586): Cause it just destroys penises (586): Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore http://tfl.nu/7ohb
  Replies (11) Good night (952) Bad night (998)
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  (323): View more from California

  I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.

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  (323): I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now. http://tfl.nu/r6w8
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (851)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring

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  (647): ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring http://tfl.nu/c0bs
  Replies (19) Good night (1117) Bad night (4889)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.

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  (815): grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese. http://tfl.nu/k9i9
  Replies (21) Good night (4244) Bad night (1283)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day

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  (254): our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day http://tfl.nu/vjaj
  Replies (25) Good night (1615) Bad night (5507)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.

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  (919): I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job. http://tfl.nu/800g
  Replies (25) Good night (4972) Bad night (3625)
• Favorite

  (754): View more from Florida

  Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.

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  (754): Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam. http://tfl.nu/he4s
  Replies (35) Good night (1149) Bad night (2349)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  You always know what to say to make me feel better.

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  (870): If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you. (1-870): You always know what to say to make me feel better. http://tfl.nu/or61
  Replies (2) Good night (1689) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.

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  (484): he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended. http://tfl.nu/6aj3
  Replies (2) Good night (629) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?

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  (516): What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner? http://tfl.nu/aj21
  Replies (11) Good night (489) Bad night (1516)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk

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  (630): I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk http://tfl.nu/t8bq
  Replies (6) Good night (2004) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.

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  (386): He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck. http://tfl.nu/cvbc
  Replies (7) Good night (1900) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"

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  (802): Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way" http://tfl.nu/zpi3
  Replies (7) Good night (1010) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.

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  (479): Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success. http://tfl.nu/y7jz
  Replies (4) Good night (2413) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era

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  (650): i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era http://tfl.nu/hvky
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (204)

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