Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name

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  (607): I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name http://tfl.nu/j3pw
  Replies (13) Good night (6794) Bad night (1118)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.

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  (505): He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes. http://tfl.nu/z1l1
  Replies (25) Good night (732) Bad night (3374)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.

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  (785): Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen. http://tfl.nu/ucck
  Replies (14) Good night (4622) Bad night (1442)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I have a critically important question to ask.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?

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  (519): I have a critically important question to ask. (519): Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist? http://tfl.nu/val5
  Replies (43) Good night (5293) Bad night (1396)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too

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  (603): im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too http://tfl.nu/8x1l
  Replies (27) Good night (6953) Bad night (1445)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out

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  (314): apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out http://tfl.nu/7udd
  Replies (8) Good night (4763) Bad night (890)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.

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  (956): found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint. http://tfl.nu/dk3f
  Replies (14) Good night (1498) Bad night (2940)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.

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  (573): You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up. (816): Sorry about that. Except for the cookies. http://tfl.nu/ub9m
  Replies (6) Good night (3065) Bad night (735)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.

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  (716): i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man. http://tfl.nu/v8cz
  Replies (6) Good night (2075) Bad night (876)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.

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  (908): You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution. http://tfl.nu/9oem
  Replies (4) Good night (2425) Bad night (709)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.

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  (909): I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats. http://tfl.nu/jzu3
  Replies (10) Good night (779) Bad night (1180)
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  (650): View more from California

  Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens

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  (650): Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens http://tfl.nu/mv4i
  Replies (13) Good night (2245) Bad night (1209)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...

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  (910): Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history... http://tfl.nu/c2a0
  Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (437)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.

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  (781): I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life. http://tfl.nu/cjom
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (276)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...

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  (775): My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal... http://tfl.nu/n6o9
  Replies (3) Good night (221) Bad night (413)

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