I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
