The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Too much gin, very little bucket
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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