I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
