I'm really into asian looking animals
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
