we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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