u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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