I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
