I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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