i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
