yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
