Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Green mimosas i think yes
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How does it feel to date your dad?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
