I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
whose parrot is this?
Randomize
