sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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