I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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