If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
