just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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