So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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