I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
A+ Viking dick
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
