I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
