I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Of course I have a pirate flag
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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