his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
