Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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