Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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