talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
third nipple confirmed
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
