sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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