all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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