If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
