I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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