32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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