i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
