You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
