This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize